Chances are that you’ve seen the headlines touting the uptick in “boomerang kids” moving back home in droves post-college — and then staying put with Mom and Dad even after landing jobs.
But there’s a term that some of those Moms and Dads can also call their own: the sandwich generation.
Simply put, members of the sandwich generation have the unenviable responsibility of caring for (and even financially supporting) their kids and aging parents at the same time — and often under the same roof.
And the graying of the nation’s Baby Boomers promises to only make that dynamic all the more prevalent. According to statistics from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Administration on Aging, the population of Americans aged 65 and older will increase 82% to 72.1 million by 2030 — by 2040, those who are 85 or older will almost triple to 14 million.
So it’s no surprise that a trio of eldercare experts — Danielle Dresden, Phillip D. Rumrill Jr. and Kimberly Wickert — decided to pool their collective prowess on the topic to co-author a new book, “The Sandwich Generation’s Guide to Eldercare.”
Curious to learn more? So were we, which is why creative.reconstruction sat down with the authors to discuss their book and its key takeaways for all those benevolent Moms and Dads out there.
CREATIVE.RECONSTRUCTION: How and when did the idea to write a book about issues confronting this particular “sandwich generation” originate?
DDRESDEN, PRUMRILL, KWICKERT: As rehabilitation counselors, we work with people who are going through medical or rehabilitation services and work with physicians and other medical providers to assist in coordinating and monitoring those services. We found that even with our background in the healthcare field, it was often overwhelming to navigate through the process of caring for our parents and children at the same time and wanted to share what we learned from our professional and personal experience with others in the same situation.
The book mentions that childcare is comparable to eldercare in certain respects, but also makes clear that eldercare can pose unique care-giving challenges. What would you consider to be the most fundamental first-steps towards adequate eldercare preparation?
Communicating with your loved one about his or her wishes and preferences related to eldercare, knowing his or her medical background, insurance information and financial options related to long-term care. The Eldercare planning document in our book is a comprehensive and detailed document that allows families to work together to develop a plan and identify all the information needed to provide the emotional, financial, medical and physical support required to do so.
In your research, which dimension(s) of eldercare — the emotional, the financial, the physical, the psychological — consistently proved to be the most challenging for caregivers? Which are the most challenging for care-recipients?
This varies based on the individual caregiver; however, most caregivers find the financial challenges to be the most significant. As relates to the elder-care recipient, this also varies based on each individual’s needs, but in our research — and our own experience — it was the loss of independence and its impact on the emotional and psychological well-being of elders that was a common challenge.
It apparently isn’t unusual for elders to resist the notion of surrendering their care to others, even trusted family members. What strategies have you found to be most effective in managing this tendency?
Identifying the elderly loved one’s preferences and providing realistic options to meet those preferences whenever possible. Also, including him or her in the decision-making process whenever possible and appropriate also helps to allow for a semblance of control and create feelings of trust.
Although it’s geared towards caregivers, the book could also function as a primer for current or future eldercare recipients. To what extent is it advisable — or even possible — to allow or encourage elders to become partners in the management of their late-life care?
We encourage the involvement of the elderly family member whenever possible. For example, if it’s been determined by a medical professional that the elder can no longer drive, involving him or her in identifying a plan for transportation that may include friends, family or local transit services may be one way to encourage his or her involvement and allow a feeling of “control” over an otherwise negative situation. That being said, if involving the elder is unhelpful or obstructive to the situation, e.g., choosing a nursing facility for someone with dementia, another way to involve him or her may be by picking out some items to decorate the room once the location has been identified. Everything should be done on a case-by-case basis as every individual’s needs and situation varies. Talking with a professional about the level of involvement for your elder is an option if you are unsure of how much or how little to include him or her in the process.
What would you identify as the most essential tools or resources to have in hand (or in mind) when approaching the responsibilities of eldercare?
Foremost, in our opinion, would be for the elder to have planned his or her estate by creating a Will, a Living Will, and a Durable Power of Attorney. Two other critical considerations would be to know the elder’s medical history and current insurance coverage (if any), as well as knowing what financial resources the elder’s may have available to assist in his/her late-life care.
Which aspect or dimension of eldercare have you found to be the most consistently overlooked or underestimated by care providers?
The cost of long-term care is often underestimated at the onset of eldercare responsibilities, and in the overwhelmingly majority of cases, preparation for those costs are overlooked entirely in the earlier stages of the care-recipient’s life.
The book is filled with accounts of true-life eldercare experiences of varying sorts. Are there any that stand out as being particularly instructive or revealing?
We used the stories of Joseph and Adaline to help illustrate an important consideration in eldercare: Namely, the unique nature of every case, situation and circumstance. While Joseph and Adeline were diagnosed with the same condition — dementia — the intensity, persistence and urgency of the disease’s effects varied on a general as well as on a day-to-day level.
How does American society’s “attitude” or commitment to eldercare compare to that of other industrialized nations? What types of social or policy reforms would you say are in order domestically?
America is actually among the world leaders in terms of eldercare availability and optionality. Many countries lack the variety of long-term care options — home-care, assisted-living, skilled nursing-care — that one finds in the U.S. In some nations, there’s a cultural expectation that the elderly will remain in the family’s home and be cared for by family members, even if the quality of that care is inferior to what might be available in an affordable facility. In terms of reforms, it would be valuable to grow awareness of the fact that our nation’s core eldercare program, Social Security, was developed when white American males (the source population of the relevant studies) rarely lived beyond their early 60s. As the nation’s average life expectancy continues to extend (it’s currently about 76 for men and 81 for women), existing social policies and services may need to be reformed so as to help provide care to individuals for longer periods of time and later in life.
What parting advice would you give to current sandwich-generation members to best prepare themselves for the challenges of providing — and in time receiving — eldercare?
The best thing to do is to plan for any future eldercare needs — not only for your elderly loved one, but for yourself as well. It’s also important to be mindful of the fact that the process of providing and receiving care is a dynamic one, meaning that as we continue to age, our needs change. So while it’s also advantageous to have a plan in place, it’s very important that the plan allow for some flexibility, and that those who may be managing the plan understand that changes will be necessary and ongoing.
An edited version of this article was originally published on LearnVest.com and Forbes.com in February 2014.
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